rivercrow

It seems I spend more time reading dictionaries and thesauri than is really necessary or healthy. But choosing the right word can bring clarity, so I suppose having a clear understanding of word nuances is vital.

The bigger problem, as I see it, is working out the contextual baggage of words. Not only my baggage–which can be substantial–but the baggage my audience hauls with them. I can usually ferret out my own verbal hang-ups, or at least detect when there is a problem. My audience, on the other hand, keeps a cloaking field around their associations. How to proceed?

Case in point. A friend and I began debating the word “need”. For him, being told that “he needs a vacation” is tantamount to being told how to live his life. He’d much prefer another word there, and suggested that “he deserves a vacation.” At the time, I clarified that what I meant by telling him that “he needs a vacation” means that he has been under enough associated stressors that a break will provide some necessary (needed) rest and relaxation. He needs this to recover and gain balance. The image of a plant wilting without water emerges; the release from stress is as needed as water is needed to sustain life.

“Needs” and “deserves” are by no means synonymous. I would accept his statement that “he wants a vacation.” “Want,” as in “I want,” reflects an active desire for something that may be unnecessary. As in, I want a billion dollars, but I need enough money to sustain my life. Or, I want you to pick up the dry-cleaning Friday. But “want” was not his suggested edit to the statement; “deserves” was.

“Deserves” sets up a balance scale and at least two roles. By definition, “deserve” means “to be worthy of”. There is a judge, a target who is judged, and a scale of worth. Okay, so he’s been under a number of stressors, some which are self-inflicted, some circumstantial, and some arbitrary. To suggest that he deserves a vacation implies that he has somehow performed in a way that merits reward. Hm. I will accept that my dog’s minding a command to “Sit, Stay” means she deserves a reward. Who would be bestowing this reward and declaring judgment? For my dog, I will be the bestower and the judger. For my friend, he will have to bestow the reward to himself, if he declares himself worthy. (Which he will do, of course, because circular logic suggests he has already judged himself.) My spiritual beliefs are uncomfortable with his announcement that he deserves anything for his efforts in navigating this period of his life, since the role of judge and the scale of worth are not within mortal abilities. (And he will disagree with my beliefs, but that’s okay.)

Regardless of cosmic relations, I still believe that he has a need for this release. “Needs” as in “an organism needs sustenance for survival.” What I’m now interested in is the baggage he’s loaded onto the word “need,” to the point that he will choose not a close synonym (”require” or “want”), but a word that obscures a sense of dependency. “Deserves” surely side-steps the sense of lack inherent to “need.”

He’s also expressed discontent when a coworker directs him by saying “I need you to do something.” Perhaps “need” in this case is an inexact word. The coworker may simply want an action performed. But there may be a necessity, such as a regulatory requirement, that results in a lack and therefore a “need.” Again, this brings me back to the baggage of the word.

[At this point, I am forced to speculate about my friend’s word associations. I suspect he is uncomfortable with dependency, and given his independent characteristics, I am reasonably happy with that deduction. By dependency, I refer to his own dependencies on others and those of others on him, as well as his own mortality (dependency on life-sustaining elements). At this point, I think I have reached the end of the “needs/deserves” thread, and will stop with the example.]

By following this thread, I see that any word for any audience can be weighted with unexpected baggage. It’s important to recognize these contextual associations for clear communication with general audiences; it’s also important to ensure a common vocabulary when addressing an audience. The rephrasing aspect of active listening can be adapted to written communication with an audience, by using analogies or in-text definitions to contain the word to its dictionary meaning.

Associated reading:
http://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/philosophy/works/us/skinner.htm

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