The trap of hubris in self-assessment
January 8th, 2007 by rivercrow
A friend and I were discussing our personal failings one day. We each had a litany of miseries–we were terrible failures at this and that, we were misunderstood constantly–and the challenge of digging ourselves our of our pits into respectability seemed impossible. As we complained about how we didn’t measure up to what we should be, I started wondering what we were comparing ourselves to.
If we intend to measure ourselves, then we have to have a standard of reference. Where does that standard come from and what is that standard?
I suppose these are simple questions. Obviously, we all have a clear understanding of what we should be doing by the time we’re thirty or forty. Or do we? Do we measure ourselves against our parents? Against our siblings? Against our peers? Well…who are our peers?
We’re each unique, each involved in a unique environment, each with a unique understanding of our slice of world. If we accept that uniqueness as a constant, how can we choose a peer?
That was my first glimpse of the prideful nature of our discussion. Who am I to choose this person or that person as my measure? My opinion of myself changes as my attitude changes. I am hardly a reliable measure of myself, let alone of another individual.
If I accept my fallibility as a constant, then I have to accept that I may be wrong in both the depths of my shortcomings and the heights of my capabilities. How to do a proper self-assessment? I think a place to begin is by admitting that we do not know ourselves as well as we believe and to accept that we should not aspire to choose our own measuring stick.
This is the old argument that the created can never know the mind of the Creator. To believe that we do–to believe that we know what the Creator intended, what that divine measure might be–is a great act of pride. How can I presume to know this information? Perhaps I can get some insights, some quick flashes of direction, but to know with certainty?
If there is no divinity, even then the choosing of a measure is flawed because we are assuming that we know all the variables, that we can account for every element in the complex system of life.
Regardless, it’s a terrible act of hubris.
I believe self-assessment is a useful tool, handled well and intelligently. We cannot know everything–sometimes we don’t even know our own minds and motivations until too late. After realizing the danger of hubris, I started consciously handling myself and others more gently and listening more carefully.
I know I’ve done nothing more than convince myself of something very simple and that I still cannot trust myself to act rightly in all situations, but I also know that I must consider perfection as a mirage that cannot be used as a measure.
Walk gently.
One Response to “The trap of hubris in self-assessment”
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Hmm.
Whilst growing up I think we do initially choose people to target as idols. Similar in deciding which toy we would like to get we use the same criteria in deciding what we ourselves would like to be or like to be able to do, be thought of as or similar. We target those who seem to have what we want and then go about trying to get it.
It is only after we have matured that we start to truly recognise those things which are our own qualities. Those thing which we have been doing for a long time but which escaped our notice or were thought of as imperfections in our emulation of our idols. After this point we also seek to improve or play to these strengths also.
Perhaps it is at this point or afterwards when we have become comfortable with these new facets that we start to become comfortable with ourselves and recognise ourselves as true individuals. Then we see the blend that is ourselves and recognise that no idol really represents us properly and fully but rather that we have taken those elements from the idol which were already there within us as a spark and used the idol to assist in expressing and developing that facet of ourselves.
Young boys with a mind for justice will often watch batman as a child and leap in excitement at how the idol dispatches villains. The idol is the ideal and the boy it’s pupil. After such things he will have the cliches to try out on others and will have seen ideals to muse over. Of course not all young batman fans will watch for the elements of justice and standing up for what they feel is right. Some will merely see might makes right and go down the path of the bully but there are always more than one element to these things.
I recall watching the A team as a youth and though I still have a love of guns and action films I also have a deep seated desire to be a part of the team and to know success as one of the team. I would say that such sparks existed within me before I watched the first episode and yet I would suspect that in watching such things I got to see my desire on the screen and see what achivements are possible as a tight knit team. Since watching that I have always tried to mould any team which I was in to it’s maximum potential by analysing the people’s strengths and trying to find niches for them to fit. I think it’s a 9 thing in retrospect but it was generated by watching all those team based films and series as a kid that the enthusiasm is instilled.
Nature vs nurture is a funny kind of chicken and the egg thing…
Anyhow, you can select those to measure yourself up to because there is no ultimate human being, we are all essentially equal. Your only option is to pick someone who posseses a trait which you would like to posses and then trying to find out how they do it and learning by it. You can also learn by contrast and so learn to be the perfect pacifist by having a violent sociopath as your template. Well you can unless you hold the idol in isolation to their environment and the reactions they produce but I very much doubt that you in particular would be prone to such failings.
Personally for a wholistic feeling of where I am I take my own feelings about myself, the reactions of my friends and important people (or their words if they are brave enough to venture an opinion openly) and then see what it means after I place them all on the scales. Sometimes I take the words of my accusers and measure them up against the words of my supporters and look to see if my accusers have a point. If they do then I attempt to redress the imbalance or find a way of dealing with the problem in other ways (such as my scatty brain, I can’t fix it so I just try to be as lucid as I can and enjoy the reputation of being eccentric). Anyhow that’s me.