rivercrow

I hate introducing myself.

That’s my biggest gripe against social meetings, online and in person. I never know what to say. It’s easier just to get people to talk about themselves and chime in when there’s a lull.

Or, I know what I want to say, but I know it will take too long.

Hi, I’m in-between employment right now. I’m not going to say much about myself because you’ll get the wrong idea. Yeah, I have an accent, but don’t let that bias you against me; I’m a bit of an egghead, but I’m not arrogant. I’d really rather you talk and let me listen–I’m very good at listening.

Or I want to say something like…

I do a lot of stuff. I know a lot of stuff. There are really very few things I can’t do. It seems like I have broad competencies, but part of that is illusion–I just have very high standards. Don’t hold that against me, either. It makes life difficult sometimes.

But, you know, no one really wants to hear these things. What people want to hear are pleasantries: your name, what you do for a living, what your golf handicap is, how many children you have.

I realized last year that all these are ESxJ things–the here and now, facts, facts, facts. So many other things to discuss, and we have to focus on this small slice of ourselves.

I carry three versions of business cards with me now. Business contacts get a ready-made reminder of that facet of me I need to sell. Social contacts…well, I pick a card at random and present that face. Not that any facet is too far from the others, but at least I have a narrower scope–not so narrow that I have to let anyone see the messy realities of things, but just narrow enough that I don’t ever have to wander into sports or family life.

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